Silly Fun!

When was the last time you were unashamedly goofy?  I don't mean: when was the last time you did a silly dance in front of your bathroom mirror?  What I mean is: when was the last time you let yourself loosen up and just have silly fun...with other people or in public?!  I don't know what "silly fun" looks like for you but I have quite a portfolio of my own "silly fun."

Here are a few "silly fun" moments for me:

As an Assistant Youth Pastor for my church some years ago, I had great fun parking my car at the end of the church driveway, dressing up as a clown and dancing around to get people to come to our teen car wash fundraiser!  Sadly, the pictures of this were lost.

Dressed as a sprite for the community theatre musical of "Scarlet Pimpernel."  Don't think this is very silly?  What you don't see is that I'm wearing white tights and an extreme short skirt...then a group of us danced around a may pole and sang.  Yes...quite silly...but, oh, what fun!!!!

Dressed as Cinderella for a little girl's birthday party.  She and all her friends loved it, which made it so much fun for me!

A couple years ago, when my son was still very small, he and I dressed up like cows in order to get free food at Chick-fil-a!  Yes, we went in public dressed like this.....and had a BLAST!  Not to mention, we got free food!

Just a couple days ago, my son and I put on play jewelry and played kissy-face!

Why is "silly fun" so important?  Because it's FUN!  Laughing is healthy.  It actually increases endorphins in the body and can serve as a healing agent!  When you can laugh at yourself and allow others to laugh with you, you can then be truly happy.  No longer are you scared of what other people think or worried what a perfect stranger may say about you because....really?  Who cares?  Whoever you worry about impressing the most, to you they become god. 

All too often, we (including myself) spend waaaaaaayyyyyy too much time caring about other people's opinions, making sure each hair is in place, t's are crossed and i's are dotted.......that we miss out on the fun that life has to offer.  There are times for being prim and proper and put together...but there are also times for silly-goofiness!

WARNING: Laughing and having "silly fun" is contagious so only participate if you want to attract friends!

I hope you can get to the end of each and every day and remember a time that day that you laughed!

Life is so short....learn to laugh and have "silly fun!"

A Few of My Favorite Home Things!

Plain and simple: I LOVE interior decorating!  One of my most favorite ways to relax is to lay out a fluffy duvet on the floor, fill the duvet with pillows, light some candles, pour a glass of wine, tune into Michael Buble and look at decorating books (like Pottery Barn) and magazines (Better Homes and Gardens, Country Home, Martha Stewart).  See and love, clip and keep...yes, I have binders of ideas for my "future home."  It's just too much fun for words!

Below are some pictures from around my home...some of my favorite things.  The very best part is that nothing in my home has been bought new.  Every single piece of anything in my home was either given to me, bought from friends, at garage sales, thrift stores or craigslist.

I'm a sucker for:

 - Vintage finds

 - Salvaged and repurposed items

 - Country Chic decor

My bedroom is inspired by Country Chic decor, Mandy Lynne Photography and artist Marjolein Bastin.  My full-size bed was a gift.  Vintage windows were free from a demolished house.  Bedside table is an estate sale find (antique phone table).  Bookshelf was a street market buy.  Bed-end trunk was also found at an estate sale.  All my quilts are family-made, handed down by my Grandmothers.  All pillow cases were hand-crafted as well.  The rose lamp I made in grade school.

My dresser is without-a-doubt one of my favorite pieces of furniture.  I bought it off craigslist.  It is an antique.  It was originally a horrid blue but I soon rectified that and painted it an antiqued white.

Above my adorable dresser (::smile::) is a repurposed antique window-turned vanity.  I went to Hobby Lobby and bought a square mirror and fixed it to the cross-bar of the window.  I added various styles of white coat hooks to hang jewelry, belts and scarves.  In the top left corner is a clothesline effect design for hanging rings.  Add an inexpensive garland of mini-roses and a couple draped doilies and hankies and...voila!

My desk is an antique butcher block-top table that I bought at a thrift store.

I added bookcases (the two outside ones were from garage sales and the two middle towers were from a friend...total of $20 for all!) at the end of my bed for all of my scrapbooking, crafting and work items.  This was the day I was moving them in so the final result is a little more.....full. :O)

In my living room, you'll find another vintage thrift store side-table with all kinds of garage sale finds. 

The metal basket, small framed picture, serving tray and small wooden bus = garage sale/thrift store finds.

On top of my craigslist-found tv cabinet, you'll find lots of fun Paris-themed decor, also a favorite of mine.  Candles, framed pictures from Paris calendars, flower pot used as a candle holder, kitchen colander, etc.

Above the vanity mirror in my bathroom is a collection of glass vases of various sizes and colors.  Love these!

I like to draw up house plans and ideas in this kind of format.  Helps me keep my ideas visual and I always do it in pencil so I can keep creating and recreating!

Someday, I'll have to post some of my favorite ideas that I've collected!  Who knows....maybe someday I'll show you picture of my dream house once it's built!

Don't forget to dream!  Dreams are what keep us alive!  Write your dreams out...or draw them!  Keep them in front of you and never lose sight of them...allow them to fuel you when you're down, inspire you when you tired and relax you when you're stressed!  Allow the things you love to have a place in your life!

The One, the Other and the Two Together

I want to take just a minute and tell you a little bit about my business, my ministry and how the two intersect:

For those of you who may not already know, I am a Premier Designs Jewelry Lady!  My new job is fantastic and I want to be able to keep you updated about what I am learning about managing a business while being a single mom, promotions that I will be offering, the latest and greatest fashion tips and jewelry how-to's, as well as encouraging words for those who are currently running their own business or who are thinking about it. 

It is time-consuming and rewarding all wrapped up in a huge package!  For those of you who have been told that owning your own direct sales business is easy-breezy and care-free, you've been lied to.  It's not easy...like anything, it takes a lot of work.  But that's not to say that the benefits don't far outweigh the work.

A little back-history for those of you who do not know me: I was unemployed from the beginning of January this year until the end of July.  I worked a 3-month stint during that time that subtracted a year off my life-span so I don't even count that.  During that 3-month life-sucking experience, I paid $1,000 a month for full-time day care, which left nothing for rent, food or any other basic necessities.  It all went to day care.  This, I decided, just didn't make sense.  It would be just as financially profitable for me to stay home with my son and not work at all!

I brainstormed stay-at-home ideas and tried opening a day care in my home, thinking that the number of hours I would have to work would somehow be overshadowed by the pay I could get and the ability to be at home with my son.  But, as that venture went no where slowly, I began to realize that having a day care in my home would, in no way, grant me the flexibility that I wanted and needed. 

My young son had been sick for quite a while, requiring me to skip work, leave work early or be late to work in order to take him to his numerous doctor and therapy appointments.  So, I needed flexibility and income.

My Jewelry Business
When I found Premier Designs, I was struck by their overall goals as a company, their biblically-based principles, their service-oriented policies, their Hostess benefits and the benefits for me as an Independent Distributor.  I had negative experiences with "direct sales" businesses in the past but decided that I liked PD's "direct service" approach.  So, why not give it a try?

Now, as someone who has begun her direct-service business from home, I want to make sure you, my reader, understands that hard work = benefits.  So, here are a couple things you will never get from me:  

 - "It's so easy!  There's hardly any work and you can make a ton of money!"  I'm sure that you can make a ton of money in direct-sales but, starting out, it's far from "easy."  It does require dedication, sometimes long hours and a go-getter personality.  Nothing comes without hard work....not even money. :O)  Sometimes money really IS hard to come by, especially in the beginning.....but never give up!

 - Inflation of the truth or leaving out the truth in order to get people interested or into the business.  Some people may do this but I'm not going to lie to you.  Conveniently leaving out details is lying and unacceptable in my estimation.  You're going to get the good and the not-so-good from me.  I want you to know what you're getting into before you invest your time and resources to get started!

My business is grounded in honesty and relationships.  I won't sacrifice relationships just to get commission from my down-line.  I won't get commission from my down-line if I splay the truth and they later see the "reality" of owning their own business. 
Now, please do not take from this that I am dissatisfied with my job!  I'm not...because I know that any business-ownership ventures require hard work and sacrifice.  Here's what I LOVE about my job:
 - I get to be at home with my son on a full-time basis!
 - I get to meet new women, make new friends and encourage ladies...ones I never would have met without this job!
 - I get to wear beautiful jewelry all the time!

These three things make the above business-realities all WORTH IT! 

Signal On Ministries
Now, I also want to tell you about my ministry.  Signal On Ministries is the fruit of a less-than-beautiful experience of my own with domestic violence, which shook my foundational faith and led me on a journey back to truth and back to God.

The goal of Signal On Ministries is to do two things:
1) Encourage victims and survivors of abuse that they are special and do not deserve abuse.
2) Equip churches to recognize and appropriately respond to situations of abuse through awareness and educational training.

I won't go into my full story here but God has used the hell that I experienced of physical abuse, sexual abuse, rape, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, financial abuse and social abuse to bring me to a place where I can honestly say that I am thankful for these experiences.  Why?  They have allowed me to empathize with the 1 in 3 women who experience abuse in the US.  They have given me a passion to see this issue brought into the light and to see the growing-statistics reversed!

The Intersection
You may be asking, where do jewelry and domestic violence cross paths?  Women, whether abused or not, need encouragement.  As women, we desire to know on a regular basis that we are WORTH something, that we are SPECIAL, that we are LOVED! 

When I do a Home Show with my business, I briefly share my story of abuse-survival and I make it a point to encourage every lady present.  Jewelry is the #1 gift item in America because jewelry provides a feeling of self-esteem...it accentuates natural beauty and, therefore, raises confidence.  No, as women we should not rely on "stuff" or "things" to do this for us but I can, through my business, infuse encouragement and self-awareness while using jewelry as an enhancer-tool. 

I'm so excited that my business and my ministry have similar ultimate goals and that God has placed both of these in my lap for such a time as this!

If you are interested in learning more about how you can get FREE jewelry or if you would like to have Signal On Ministries at your church, community program or group, please email me at snowflakespecial@yahoo.com!

Below are some announcements for both my business and my ministry. 

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I would like to say a special THANK YOU to the following Hostesses

for helping me jump-start my Premier Designs jewelry business!  By hosting a fun-filled party in your home, you helped me WIN $300 in FREE JEWELRY for my business!  Now I know you're going to want to book another show so you can see all my new jewelry!

Madaleen

Rebekah

Ranae

Vineyard Mom’s Group

Carla

Michelle

Laverne

Marlene

Rachel

Thank you so much for earning FREE jewelry and helping me get my FREE jewelry at the same time!

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I am now offering two EXCITING NEW Hostess Reward Programs!

Hostess Reward Program

   Gold Hostess              Silver Hostess        Platinum Hostess

Awarded to a Hostess having a home show retail of $100-$999	Awarded to a Hostess having a home show retail of $1,000-$1,999	Awarded to a Hostess having a home show retail of $2,000 or more
20% Discount on purchases from me for ONE YEAR from home show date.	30% Discount on purchases from me for ONE YEAR from home show date.	40% Discount on purchases from me for ONE YEAR from home show date.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Select 1 item at 50% OFF the week of your birthday!	HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Select up to 3 items at 50% OFF the week of your birthday!	HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Select up to 5 items at 50% OFF the week of your birthday!
	Thank You gift certificate for a FREE MANICURE!	Thank You gift certificate for a FREE PEDICURE!
		FREE REPLACEMENT for manufacturer’s defects (no $5 plus tax after 60 days)

Referral Rewards Program

I run my jewelry business predominantly on referrals!  So, when someone compliments you on your jewelry, please give them my card and refer them to me for one of the following:

1)       Purchasing Premier Designs jewelry. 

When they make a purchase, you will receive $10 off your next order.

2)       Scheduling a Premier Designs home show. 

When they have a show, you will receive $15 off your next order.

3)       Premier Designs business. 

For each referral that listens to the business opportunity, you will receive $20 off your next order.

Thank you for helping me to grow my business by referring your friends and family to me!

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I will be announcing the GRAND PRIZE September Hostess WINNER on October 1st!  Be sure to check back then!

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October 30th at 10:45am
Signal On Ministries will be the guest speaker for the Southwood Church of the Nazarene in Raytown, MO

Please come and be blessed and encouraged, challenged and uplifted!



Snowflake Special

Ever looked at a snowflake up close? No, I mean REALLY close? Each snowflake is like a magic crystal, unlocking a new window in the world of winter. They're just so......special!

Special? What makes them so special? Well, each one is different. When you look at a group of snowflakes REALLY close, you'll notice that each one has its own unique design. No snowflake has the same pattern. Just imagine! There are zillions of snowflakes that fall but none of them are twins!

Just like snowflakes are special, you and I are also special. There's no one else out there just like me or just like you. No one else has my personality, DNA or life experiences. No one else has truly walked in MY shoes. No one else shares my take on things. No one else sees and understands exactly as I do.

Snowflakes and people have more in common that I could have ever thought possible. Each pattern and design is unique. I guess you could say we're snowflake special!

(above originally blogged on 12.14.09)

We're not only special because we're unique from other human beings on the planet.  We're snowflake special because God says so.  Isaiah 43:1-3 says that God calls us by name.  That tells me that He 1) knows my name, 2) knows where to find me and 3) knows me well enough to use my name.  God isn't as distant as we make ourselves to be from Him.  He goes on to say in those verses and we are His and that, no matter what we face in life (high waters, raging fires and rushing rivers that threaten even death), God won't let us down.  He has promised us over and over that He won't ever leave us.

If we began to live like we were snowflake special, we might begin to love more because we would recognize that even the people we dislike are snowflake special.  Instead of judging others because of their differences, let's celebrate those differences because they serve to make us each who we are!

Because you are snowflake special, I want to tell you that you do not deserve abuse!  No matter what others have told you or even what you've told yourself, you never deserve abuse!  My prayer is that you will 1) realize just how special you are, 2) live like the snowflake special person that you are and 3) reflect that to those around you.

Be encouraged, my friend! 

Critque the Concept: A Step Towards Saving Lives

Last week afforded me the opportunity to train a local group in my community on the issue of domestic violence.  The training session went really well: great questions and comments.  Several of those present had been touched in some way by domestic violence either through a friend or relative or had experienced it themselves.

After the session was over, I went out into the hallway and met one of the pastors of the church where this group was held.  I introduced myself and we chatted a bit about the need for domestic violence training.  He said something to me that I wanted to address in a bit more in detail here: "Before we can act [on a victim's domestic violence claim], we have to go in and find out what's really going on."

This concept is faulty.  Sacrificing someone's safety for the sake of one person's knowledge of the "truth" is not ok.  Domestic violence kills.  Statistics tell us that an average of 3 women are killed by an act of family violence each day (DVRC)! 

Should we believe every claim of domestic violence?  Whether or not you actually believe their claim, always take steps as if you DO believe them.  If you saw someone flailing in a lake, desperately begging you to save them, would you first deduce whether or not they were truthfully drowning BEFORE you attempted to help them?  Of course not! 

The same is true with claims of domestic violence and abuse.  Always act on belief.  Very rarely does someone claim to be abused when they are not.  (Typically, the only time this happens is if the person the victim told about their abuse goes to the abuser to "seek out the truth," the abuser will deflect the blame and say that they are the ones being abused instead.  See more info on this below...)  If one is always skeptical, they might miss out on an opportunity to help someone and, thereby, land a abuse victim in a casket.  Never is it ok to forfeit someone's safety in the name of truth-seeking.

As a pastor, the response to any claim of abuse should be:

1) Respond with words of willingness to support and encourage
Some things you can say are:
 - "It's not your fault."
 - "I'm afraid for your safety (and the safety of your children)."
 - "I'm here if and when you need me."
 - "You deserve better than this."
 - "There are resources in the community where you can get help."

2) Refer the victim to a local domestic violence shelter
Only 1% of victims referred to domestic violence shelters are from clergy (Safe Sanctuaries).  This is a statistic that needs to change!

A domestic violence shelter will have the professional staff they need to get help.  Do not be afraid to refer the victim to them!  That's what they are there for.  They have been specifically trained to deal with abuse.  You can still provide spiritual encouragement and support but allow these domestic violence professionals do the rest.  They are your partner...your team!

Not sure what shelter to send a victim to or even what shelters are available in your area?  Visit the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence's State Coalition List.  Here you will find contact information for your state.  Simply contact them and ask for specific information on shelters in your county.

3) Offer to help them develop a Safety Plan.  (For more information, visit the "resources" tab on the Signal On Ministries website.)

4) Pray for the victim, their children and their abuser.

5) Carefully follow up with the victim to make sure that they are receiving the care and support they need.

6) Make your church aware that you support and encourage victims of domestic violence and abuse.
You can do this in several ways:
 - Publicly, from the pulpit, speak on domestic violence (please educate yourself on the issue before you do this).
 - Publicly, from the pulpit, make it known that you support and encourage victims of abuse and welcome them to come to you about this issue (please be ready to offer these services before announcing it).
 - Offer opportunities for discussing abuse of any kind through discussion groups.
 - Offer regular trainings for your staff and volunteers on how to recognize and respond to abuse.
 - Make your church a safe place by have a security system for your children's services, do background checks on all staff and volunteers, have regular visits (or place someone in charge of) with staff and volunteers about potential abuse situations or signs of abuse that they may have witnessed, etc.
 - Place information in the women's restrooms about community domestic violence resources, your partner-shelter, hotline numbers, etc.
 - Offer a domestic violence/abuse support group at the church.
 - Have an abuse response team who serves as your partner within the church.
 - Allow a Christian survivor to give their testimony, if they are willing.  Utilize your abuse survivors' experience and wisdom.

DO NOT:
1) Go to the claimed abuser and ask if their partner's claims are true. 
This places the victim in direct line for escalated abuse and even death!!  The whole point of abuse is the use of power and control.  If the abuser feels his victim is slipping from his grasp or is seeking outside help, the abuser will do what it takes to stop them.

2) Use either the victim or abuser as a sermon illustration.
If an abuser gets wind that someone even similar to his victim has said anything to the pastor, the abuser will hurt and possibly kill the victim.  If a victim feels that their confidentiality has been, in any way, breached, you can guarantee, they will not be back to your church and you will lose a vital opportunity to help them.

3) Share the victim's story with any of the other staff members.
Strict confidentiality is VITAL!  You do not know who in your staff might be the eyes and ears of the victim's abuser.  Treat the victim's story with the utmost care!

4) Tell the victim ANY of the following:
 - "You just need to pray more."
 - "You just need to have more faith."
 - "You just need to love your partner more and then they will love you back."
 - "You just need to forgive and move on."
 - "God hates divorce so you're just going to have to stick it out." (God hates abuse even more!)
 - "Wives are supposed to submit to their husbands."
These responses only place the blame back on the victim and serve to further abuse.

As a pastor, you and your church are uniquely positioned to be of help and support to domestic violence victims!  You have an awesome opportunity and responsibility to help make your congregation AWARE of abuse and EDUCATED about abuse so that they can be a VOICE against abuse!

Signal On Ministries is here to help with this as well!  Signal On provides trainings for clergy and their staff on this issue.  We would love to come and partner with you to provide that awareness and education you can use!  For more information or to have Signal On Ministries at your church, please visit the "about" tab on the Signal On Ministries website and click the "email me" link.  Take the first step to saving lives!

Just For Fun: Toddlers to Men

Have you ever thought about some of the similarities between toddlers and men?  Now, these are generalized observations intended as a joke so, guys, don't take it personally!  Instead, just laugh and say, "She's totally right!"  lol

Toilet Training: Men could probably still use Cheerios in the bowl.

Cat Calls:  Cat say "meow."  They don't whistle.

Telling Time: Toddlers don't tell time.

Distructive Tendencies: "Fixing it" shouldn't include blowing it up.

Bathing: Unlike toddlers, men can't get away with not taking them.

Things that Go: These only get bigger as they get older.

Eating: When they're born, might as well start buying in bulk.

Fart Blame: No matter the age, they still look around for the source.

Clothing Stores: Time-out chairs are provided for the men...why not the toddlers?

Wednesday Motherhood/Life - Death and Life: Wise Preparation

No matter who we are, we worry about the future.  It's just a fact.  Knowing the future ahead of time is a lot more tricky.  Well, I'm gonna predict the future here for ya!  Are you ready?!  Here it is: You're going to die......at some point.  We all will.  It's not something we talk much about because we want to focus on living, right?  Sure!  But, at some point, we do need to be prepared for the certainty of death.

When my Grandmother passed away, I saw my parents struggle with the immediacy of paying thousands of dollars for a funeral service, grave-side service, reception, casket, flowers, body deliveries, burial, head stone, etc.  All of this needed to be done WHILE they were trying to grieve.  This is not to say that my Grandparents didn't have some plans in mind but the sheer cost of dying is just plain crazy!  (And, as far as I know, the "Foutain of Youth" has yet to be found!)

Unless you are a Pharoah or a King, you probably don't have a tomb waiting for you when you finally give up the ghost.  I know I don't.  I didn't want my immediate family to have the burden of paying for and worrying about funeral arrangements upon my death.  In fact, I wanted them to be able to rejoice over my life! 

When I went to first get my driver's license, I made sure that they knew I wanted my organs donated, should something happen to me.  It was a decision I made a very long time ago and one that I hold onto today.  I wanted my death to count for something.  My body buried in a box with all those perfecting functioning organs buried with it just didn't seem fair when so many people sit in hospitals and wait for other people to die, hoping they'll get the chance to live! 

But, even if someone were able to get my heart, liver or kidney...what about the rest of me?  Could I donate everything so that research and training could be done to help save even more lives?  I began doing research.  What I found was an organization called Science Care.

Science Care is a whole-body donation program that "supports medical research, training and professional education..."  Science Care is..."the only organization to be accredited by both the American Association of Tissue Banks (AATB) and accredited as a provider by the Accreditation Council for Continuing Medical Education (ACCME)."  Not only does Science Care use healthy "typical" organs for donation, research and training, they also use organs such as eyes, skin and the brain.  Once they have what they need, they simply cremate the rest and the donor has the option of having the ashes returned to the family or dispersed in one of two beautiful locations in the US!

This option sounded wonderful to me because Science Care does all of this completely free of charge to the immediate family!  The family no longer has to pay pricey amounts for burial, casket, body preparation, etc.  Science Care does everything absolutely free!

Ok, so you may be thinking that this all sounds very impersonal and harsh.  Why?  I can't think of a better way to give back to my community and my family than through donating my body after death.  I'm pretty sure I'm not going to care when I'm gone!  :O)  Death doesn't have to be an awkward topic...especially since it is the one thing we ALL have in common.  Science Care is merely one option.  My goal is not to pressure or guilt anyone into making the decision that I did...but simply to make you aware of the reality of death and the options available to you when death knocks.

It's wise to prepare for some future things...even more so since we definitely know it's coming! 

Another way that you can prepare for death is to think even beyond your physical death to the life here-after.  When you die, do you know where your soul will live for all eternity?  You only have two options here:
1) Your soul can spend an eternity in a more-than-uncomfortable party-less burning hell OR
2) Your soul can spend an eternity in a bright and beautiful, more-than-comfortable loving heaven!

We all will face death but, before we face death, we must choose where we want to live forever after death.  You can do good things all your life and even donate your organs to those who need them but, when it comes down to it, the only way to spend an eternity in heaven is through Jesus Christ.  You see, we're told in the Bible that we've all done wrong...this is called "sin."  Just like death is certain...so is sin because we are human.

But the other certainty besides death and sin is God's love for you.  No matter what "sin" you've done: how big or small, God loves you.  No matter what you've been through or how far away you believe God to be, God loves you!  In fact, God's loves you so much that He sent His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, to earth to die so that you wouldn't have to spend an eternity in hell!  God wants you to KNOW Him and not just know of Him!

Skipping eternal hell and getting into heaven is as easy as ABC!
A- Acknowledge that you are a "sinner"
B- Believe that Jesus Christ died so you wouldn't have to
C- Confess your "sin" (admit to what you've done) 

If you would like to wisely prepare your heart and soul for life after death, just say the following prayer to God:  God, I know that I've done things wrong.  I acknowledge that I have sinned and am not worthy to enter heaven.  But I believe that You love me and sent Jesus to die for me and erase my sin.  I confess my sin and ask that you would clean out my heart of all the bad that is there.  Thank you for loving me!  Amen.

If you said that prayer, you've taken the first step to preparing for death.....and then life!

You see, death doesn't have to be scary or awkward, not just because it happens to everyone but also because you have something after death to look forward to!  Wise preparation for death and life-after-death isn't just something to do because we worry about it...it's something to do because we owe it to ourselves and our loved-ones! 

Monday Encouragement: PMS and Oak Trees?

I'll be honest: It's a Monday morning for me as well and I didn't feel much like writing encouraging words.  But, in an effort to not start my new goals off in the wrong direction, I figured I needed encouragement just as much as the next person.  So, I turned to the same 10-week Bible study I've been doing for the last year and a half for inspiration.  lol

I'm finally on Week 10 of Beth Moore's Breaking Free study and it has been an amazing ride!  Though I've spread the study out over quite a long time, each and every lesson has come to me right when I needed it.  I feel that, had I have rushed it, the message would not have been as clear and strong.  This lesson was no different:

I was feeling just slightly rotten this morning, no real motivation to start yet another week.  It seems that Mondays have a habit of drawing negative feelings out by nature.  The last month or so, despite difficulties, I was doing pretty well: my confidence was boosted, my hair cut was great, my skin was clear, my business was active, etc.  Living life was, for the most party, a breeze...as breezy as being a single stay-at-home mom to a terrible two's boy with developmental delays can be! lol 

I should know by now that PMS always comes around about once a month or so to ruin my confidence, flatten my hair, spot my skin and create a tiny monster in me that doesn't really have the desire to be friendly.  Can any of you gals relate?

So, here it is: Monday morning and I'm feeling a little less-than everything but it never fails that God taps me on the shoulder and says, "Hi sweetie.  I know you're not your best right now so come over, have a seat and let Me love on you!"  It's always just what I need!

To give you a bit of a background on why this particular Breaking Free lesson was significant, you need to know that tomorrow morning starts something new for me.  Not long ago, at my domestic violence support group, my leader pulled me aside and asked me if I'd be interested in taking the Oaks of Righteousness course at the church.  Oaks of Righteousness is a ministry of the church designed to help the learner-Christian recognize areas of bondage in their life and then work through those areas to freedom in Christ.  It deals with areas of unforgiveness, inappropriate authority, addiction, etc. that may find their way into the life of a believer.  Now, she didn't ask me if I was interested in the class because of some blatant sin in my life.  You see, we all require constant surrender of our life and will to Jesus.  Oaks of Righteousness is a place to do that in an intense way.  I'd been wanting to take it for a few years but it never really fit into my crazy-busy schedule.  My group leader offered to pay the class fee and pay for my childcare during the 12 weeks this class would be happening.  So...why not?!

With Oaks of Righteousness starting tomorrow morning, I was feeling on this Monday morning that it was probably good that I'd be addressing my Monday-negativity head-on.  I picked up my Breaking Free study and turned to Day 1 of the last week of study and I began to read.  I wasn't really motivated at all for the first page and actually thought about laying it aside for a bit...but I pressed forward and, boy, am I glad I did!

Page 2: The instructions go like this...Read Isaiah 61:3 and write the last sentence in the space below.  I turned to Biblegateway.com and typed in the passage.  It read:
"and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
   instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
   instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
   instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
   a planting of the LORD
   for the display of his splendor."  (italics, mine)

I sat up a little straighter.  I followed the instructions and wrote the last sentence.  Then, I smiled and said, "Ok, God, I'm listening."

As I continued to read and follow the instructions for the rest of the lesson, I found encouragement, uplifting passages reminding me of God's love and boasting over me, telling me that being an oak tree of righteousness required God-trust but that would bear fruit of no-fear and no-worry, that I would be a display of God's splendor!  Wow! 

In Isaiah 61:3, God says that we will be called oaks of righteousness.  "The Hebrew word for righteousness is tsedheq reflecting 'honesty, integrity, liberation.  It is righteous conduct that issues from a new heart." (Moore, 205) 

Here's a few other things that God brought to my attention:
"Being a tree isn't so bad when you've been planted by the Lord for the express purpose of displaying His splendor! ...In the original language, the words display and splendor in Isaiah 61:3 are the same Hebrew word.  Pa'ar means 'to embellish, beautify, adorn; to glorify, be glorified; to bring honor, give honor; to boast.'  To display God's splendor is to radiate His beauty." (ibid)

Psalm 45:11 says "Let the king be enthralled by your beauty; honor him for he is your lord."  Great Monday admonition!

"Look at the very last English synonym in the definition of pa'ar.  To be a display of God's splendor is to be someone God can boast about!  My Friend, if you've stuck with God through some pretty tough stuff, let me assure you, He's bragging about you!  If you've agreed to go the extra mile with Him and do whatever freedom requires, God is proud of you!  God always loves us lavishly, but imagine God being proud of us and having the privilege of boasting about us." (ibid, 206)

God isn't as far off as we think.  Seeking God doesn't mean that we get our act together in order to seek Him.  Sometimes we seek God in the ickiness of a Monday, not feeling like a very good person...but we push through it in order to find out what God wants to say to us. 

My encouragement to you on this sunny Monday morning is to seek God no matter how you woke up, no matter what day it is, no matter where you think God is in relation to you, no matter how frustrated you are, no matter how many happy-pills you are sure it's gonna take to make it through the day...seek God anyway.  Let Him pull you aside and pamper you a bit because He will!  He wants to boast about you.  He wants you to be an oak of righteousness, bearing fruit in all seasons and radiating His beauty!

There it is, friends!  Be encouraged!

Goals

Since starting my new business, I've been doing a lot of goal-creating (i.e. where do I see myself in one year, five years, etc.).  Goals are a powerful part of how we create our future.  We accomplish what we prioritize so it goes without saying that every business model needs goals. 
My business isn't the only thing get a goal-eval.  My ministry and my life have been included in that.  It excites me to think where I could and will be in the years to come!  I have big dreams and sincerely believe that God desires our dreams to come true! 

So...in thinking about goals and, with my old blog suddenly gone, I began to ask myself: What is the goal of this blog? 
1) awareness
2) encouragement
3) education
4) be a voice!

How do I go about doing those things?  Well, when making out a list of goals, there has to be a starting point.  My pattern in the past has been to write as I feel led or as I find something interesting that I would like to share.  This, in my estimation, doesn't really do justice to my goals.  So, from here on out, I want and need to create space to write on a regular basis.

Hence (I love that word), I have decided to use my time wisely by setting aside days/times to blog:

Mondays: Inspiration and Encouragement
It is typically on Mondays that most people find their work day to be longer, rush hour to be heavier, lunch breaks to be shorter and everything usually going all-round crappy.  The goal for Mondays will be to provide my readers (that would be you) with inspiration and encouragement, whether that be simply a verse of Scripture, a quote or a devotional.  You'll just have to come back to find out!

Thursdays: Ministry and Business
I do want to keep you up-to-date on what is going on in the life of Signal On Ministries and my high-fashion jewelry business.  The idea for that is so you will know how to pray for us, where are needs lie and what needs we are reaching. 

 - Signal On Ministries: domestic violence victim advocacy and clergy/community training.  You'll get the latest in statistics, dv in the news, what Signal On is up to, survivor stories, ways you can be a voice, etc.
 - High-Fashion Jewelry: my business is designed to be a source of encouragement to women.  You'll get the latest in high-fashion jewelry trends, my own personal business promotionals, fashion tips, fun facts, etc.

One Wednesday a month: Motherhood and Life
Single motherhood has its own challenges...nuf said.  ::smile::  What am I learning from it?  How do I cope with the in's and out's of life as a single stay-at-home mom (I get this question frequently)? 

If you would like to automatically get an email when I post something to this blog, email me at snowflakespecial@yahoo.com and let me know.  Please follow my blog and pass it on to others!

I'd love to hear some of your goals for life, family, work/business/ministry, etc.!  Feel free to post them as comments below!

Words are Powerful

This article is a great example of how we need to be very careful how we speak about abuse and family violence.  Victims can be further abused and injured by the power of words.  The good news is that you and I together can ve a positive voice for abuse victims by spreading the truth! 

The following are examples of ways to rephrase victim-blaming language:

She provoked him. He made a choice. Why does she stay? Why does he batter?		Family violence, violent relationship Abuser, violent person She is a battered woman. He is an abuser.
He has an anger control issue. He uses abuse to have power and control over his partner.

Language, or word choice, has a tremendous impact on what we think of ourselves and each other. Think back to a time in your childhood when someone called you a name, or said something derogatory about you. You can probably remember the exact words they used to humiliate or degrade you. Words are extremely powerful.

Survivors of domestic and sexual violence experience the impact of negative words every time someone questions their actions or doubts their experiences. People often underestimate the importance of choosing appropriate language to discuss the issues of domestic and sexual violence.

For example, following a homicide/suicide in Sheridan, Oregon, a local newspaper headline read: "Couple leaves behind two small children."

To read the printed words, one might assume that the woman made a decision to abandon her children. In reality, this woman was murdered by her husband. A more accurate headline might have read: "Husband beats wife to death"

Today, many in our society want to ignore men's violence against women. It's not uncommon to read an entire article about domestic violence without encountering any gender-specific terms. When former President Clinton wrote a letter on the seriousness of domestic violence, he never referred to men as perpetrators. However, the truth is that 95% of the time that domestic violence takes place, it is male violence perpetrated against women.

Words are powerful. That's why at Mid-Valley Women's Crisis Service we are constantly evaluating our language to consider how we might best communicate the truth about violence against women and children and place the blame where it belongs - on the abuser.

We have changed the way we talk about violence against women and children. For example, we used to say, "Every nine seconds a woman is beaten in the U.S." Now we say, "Every nine seconds a man beats a woman in the U.S." We reframe "Why does she stay?" with the question, "Why does he batter?"

We avoid the terms violent relationship and family violence which suggest a relationship problem or that everyone in the family is violent. These terms miss the truth - they miss the opportunity to make it clear that one man is making the choice to be violent to a woman or a family.

A national columnist, Kathleen Parker, has devoted a lot of space in her column to address what she considers a travesty of justice: the false claims of domestic violence against men who are actually innocent. Parker claims that not only are women lying in their claims of abuse, but they are actually just as violent as men.

Parker's commentary (July 1999) insists that women often initiate the violence that leads to their injury or death. She states: "Though we can't ignore that men, owing to size and strength, are more dangerous than women when provoked, we also can't ignore that women may need to change their behavior", (emphasis added). Sentences like this one deliver a devastating message to victims of violence by insinuating that if a woman is beaten by her partner, she probably provoked him and therefore somehow needs to shoulder the blame for what happened to her.

However, empirical research simply does not support the concept that women are as violent as men. Our sources of information about domestic violence do not come from "radical feminists", or even domestic violence service providers. The statistics we use come from slightly less controversial sources like the FBI and the San Diego Police Department! The SDPD made the commitment to speak with every child in the household when they were called to the scene of a domestic assault. The children reported that 95% of the time the male in the household was the abuser.

Parker asserts in her column a myth that seems to be extremely prevalent - that women lie about domestic violence in order to gain advantages during a divorce or custody hearing. This is a hard concept to agree with for several reasons:

Research suggests that false reports of domestic violence are made at about the same rate as other crimes - somewhere in the neighborhood of 2% of the time. In order to make false claims of domestic violence, a woman would have to go through an extreme amount of work and inconvenience - police interviews, countless questions from friends, family, co-workers, and social service agencies, piles of paperwork to file restraining orders and stalking citations, lost time at work, attorney's fees, etc.

Considering the amount of effort a woman would have to go through to lie about domestic violence, the payoff seems virtually nonexistent. A woman who tells the truth about domestic violence often receives no reprieve from the visitation rights of the father, no matter how severe the violence against her or the children. Victims rarely receive special consideration during divorce and custody proceedings; in fact, several women in our community who have lost custody of their children, even though the violence was documented. In some cases, custody is granted to the father, even though there is documented child abuse. The reality is that telling the truth about domestic violence does not guarantee a woman that the judicial or social service systems will respond appropriately.

Unfortunately, Parker's words are powerful. Her voice speaks louder than most, because she communicates in a forum that is accessed by vast numbers of people. Words like Parker's do damage to the anti-violence movement; they perpetuate myths and stereotypes about victims that contribute to keeping victims silent.

But victims are not the only ones that are affected by words - language is often used to try to silence advocates, too. Women working in the antiviolence movement are called male bashers, man-haters and femi-nazis. Why? Because they work to call attention to some men's violence toward women. Men who are active in the anti-violence movement are often silenced by homophobic language - they are called "homos," "fags," etc. Jackson Katz, a man who writes and speaks out against men's violence toward women, notes the irony in the logic that "because we care about women we must want to have sex with men."

Women and men alike must be willing to address the stereotypes and oppressions that are used to keep violence against women and children in place. Words are powerful, and we each choose which words to use every day. Each person who understands the issues has the opportunity to help others understand as well, by choosing words that reflect the truth about domestic and sexual violence. 

(Source of article: http://www.mvwcs.com/powerfulword.html)

New Starts

Hello All!  Shutterfly completely deleted my blog.  Hence the reason for creating a blog here.  I will try to add some of my past blog posts but will not be able to add all of my archived posts.  I apologize for the inconvenience of following a different site but, hopefully, this will be easier.