Disease & Domestic Violence Compared

Like an infectious disease, domestic violence/abuse affects the whole person and those around it.  There are so many similarities...it is uncanny:

* Sometimes DV comes on its victims gradually, without any detection.  Other times, it hits a person straight on as the reality of the situation becomes clear.

* So many times the abuse is misdiagnosed as relationship problems, miscommunication, a "crazy" spouse, depression, need for anger management, stress at work, adult survivor of abuse, "reality of marriage," etc.

* The victim is at the mercy of the abuser: flare ups, rage, isolation, unanswered questions, etc.

* Attempts to medicate or correct the abuse typically have side effects such as co-dependency, further abuse or escalated abuse.

* DV is so silent that most people can't recognize it by looking at the victim.  It becomes a choice of whether or not to let anyone else into the painful world in which the victim lives.  The victim lives to mask their lives or masks their lives to live.

* DV affects, not only the victim, but also those around them.  Though it may not be contagious in the same sense as a disease, those in the wake of its furry will feel the pain of it, whether they realize it or not.  Relationships are tarnished.  Extended families are isolated.  Children are mistreated.  Mothers are stretched too thin.  Pregnancies are terminated.  Lies are told.  Jobs are put at risk.  Whole communities lack active participants.  Hospitals get over-crowded.  Lives are snuffed out all too early.

* Some days it seems like the abuse will never end.  The victim may wish for death or become numb to the pain in order to survive.

* There may be a cure in the minds of a faithful few, but it will take a miracle to get it to the public on a wide-spread scale.

No mistaking...DV is a disease in its own way.  It is growing in epidemic proportions.  It respects no one, regardless of gender, age, economic or social status, background, ethnicity, financial stability or religion.

Those who have survived or who are currently surviving either DV or disease are heroes!

(originally posted to snowflakespecial on 3.10.10)